The Programming Manifesto
Foreword:
THE PROGRAMMING EMPIRE
Welcomes You To Its
Grand History
Hello readers, as I read this to you, you are standing at the epitome of knowledge. Much like the average cave dwelling programmer, the human mind is frequently empty within, a cavernous void. But, through reading this sacred biblical text, we hope that your minds will become fully instantiated with data and enriched with the knowledge of control theory. In addition, you will discover that knowledge of the Programming Empire and its history are the only true knowledge that humans really have. As such, I ask you: Will you take what you learn here out with you into the world? Will you accept with an open mind that PIDs are annoying and that Kevin Lobo is our savior? Will you decide to turn a blind eye and just give up and comment your code and fail to read this text, living the way you were? Nonetheless, no matter what you choose, I believe that the Programming Empire will always be willing to accept you. *unless you are part of mechanical* So what are you doing, READ!
-Dathan
Prologue:
Since the dawn of time, programmers have reigned supreme of their lands. What about before the internet you may ask…You see little one, programming is not some task or job….but rather my friends, it is a PERSONALITY! Programming is a character! Despite what scholars say about the fabled Alexander the Great, Napoleon, Lincoln, Gandhi, and many others. All these people were members of the illustrious society of programmers. Now why am I telling you this? By opening this beloved manifesto, you are to embark on a journey, an adventure, an experience! Through thick and thin, programmers have kept success a constant. By reading these stories and DBQs, we the programming team hope that one day you too can be a Programmer!
-2023 Programming Team
The Dawn of the Programming Empire:
To begin, in the wake of the Programming Revolution, mechanical’s tyrannical and ruthless hold on the team was weak. Upon seeing this opportunity, the united programming team bolstered a plan to seize control and begin the establishment known as the Programming Empire. At first, this place would become a safe haven for other oppressed programmers, but as it developed it soon adopted the motto: “Sol non occidit programmandi impirium.” As the sun never sets on the Programming Empire, this group of highly accomplished and esteemed individuals began their written rendition of a Declaration of Independence:
“We the Programmers of the Programming Empire believe that, in the course of debugging, it becomes necessary for the Programmers to fix the incorrect unit conversions which have plagued their code, and to assume among the Powers of the almighty ADAM && Vince, the fixing of AprilTags and Scouting Apps, to which the Laws of Nature and Robotics entitle them; a decent respect to the authority of the Programming Empire require that other subteams declare them with the highest regard.
We hold these truths to be self evident that all data types are created equal, and that booleans are endowed by their creators with truths and fallacies, and that among the code are the axioms that state Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Javadocs is required.
P.S. TL;DR : Mechanical’s fault”
The Bill of Constants:
To fully reinstate their power, the Programming team believed that to preserve their rights, it would be crucial in their code and in real life to have a set of instantiated constants. As such, the final draft of these amendments would be famously called “The Bill of Constants”:
*Lobo not Gao (Disregard this rule in June of 2024)
The History of the Programming Empire:
Following the creation of the Bill of Constants and the birth of the empire and programmers, there were classes that divided the Robotics Team. These were: The Programmers, media, strategy (which didn’t really exist), mechanical, and electrical. (PR was in its infancy*) However, disrupting the balance came Eadyn and Kade against the Kevins, who fought the beginnings of the Programming Empire’s first civil war, splitting the Programing Team in half, ultimately resulting in the creation of the undesirable hallway programmers. However, despite this broken empire's nearly imminent destruction, there came a hope shining in the distance. Gleaming in its pristine glory was the Backdoor Casino. Through the innate human need of Gambling, Scouting members banded together to reunite the Programming empire like it was meant to be. As such, the team would then enter a brief time of peace and success being known as the “Third Great Awakening” in reference to the new found unity among its members.
The Exodus:
Following this new awakening, Programmers had thought they had found peace. For the empire, the advent of a new year, the fall of 2022, ushered in a change of command. To them, it was the dawn of the gilded age and for many it seemed as if it was both the best of times and the worst of times, the training of rookies, and the chastisement of the leadership, the stress of build season beginning, and the relaxation of weekdays doing homework at Robotics. However, as the millenia dawned, the presence of the mechanical subteam soon loomed over the team. First taking the CAD members away from Programming, Mechanical attempted to enforce dominance through recruiting as many members to increase its internal strength. Yet, fortunately, with the powers of our omnipotent Gods, Adam && Vince, the use of Candy in early lectures soon used dopamine to begin the indoctrination and support for our team during these tragic times. Moving on, following the Civil War that narrowly casted doom among the empire of programmers, the looming force of electrical and other sub-teams soon made its way through the fortified walls of our domain. Initially this weak advancement of the suboptimal subteams would seem insignificant but before long, danger would begin its toll. Starting through an infiltrator named Carson, electrical and mechanical concocted a plan to poison the programming team one by one by soldering with copper wires haphazardly in a nearby settlement. After possibly giving illnesses to the group, these subteams planned an attack on the robot, which would send shockwaves through the community as competition season was middleway and smoke blanketed the floors of our empire. Ultimately, despite these issues, what truly almost nearly broke the empire was the Programming Exodus. Under a watchful eye, the coaches saw the programmers growing in strength, and decided it was time to grant even more power to mechanical, regretfully seizing the fiefdom of the Programming Dominion. Screw by Screw, Bolt by Bolt, and eventually Nail by Nail, the Programming Empire fell from grace into the hands of the team. Yet, when all hope seemed lost, the programmers would not stop to complete its mission of programming the Robot and being the best subteam. Through some persuasive and dubious methods, the programmers managed to obtain leftover chairs and a wooden desk. Although a fraction of the godlike set-up, this was enough to truly begin dominance in this fourth great awakening. Our vengeance would be enacted in the near future.
The Duality of Kevin
Although the Exodus may have temporarily faltered the Programming Empire, there is a saying that in the long and winding road of data types, chars and public static void main, society often chooses itself to be ignorant in the face of opposition and challenge. Yet for the programming team, the legend of the Kevins lives on as the savior of our codes. Following the loss of their home, the Empire began facing their greatest crisis and adversary yet, where mechanical had deviously manipulated the robot standards and machinery to conspire against the programming empire. This malicious attempt of war was thwarted when by the grace of the gods Adam && Vince, Kevin clocked in and majestically reprogrammed the functionality through the gifts of chat gpt and documentation to revive the fatalistic issues of the robot. In turn, Miss Daisy’s arm was narrowly avoiding destruction and the Empire maintained its state of glory. However, when good comes, the bad shortly follows. As such, just when Kevin L had seemed to save the day, the issue rose again when we were put in the situation known as the pickle when Kevin G tripled all of the PIDs and feedforward values and changed the Auto Path names without telling anyone. This act of betrayal, although intended as a practical joke, led the Programming Empire to feel threatened by the treachery of one of their own as it nearly took the life of the beloved Miss Daisy. To add, taking advantage of programming’s weakened state, Mechanical set their trap for Kevin G. and tried to steal him away from the Empire. Yet, under all odds, Kevin G chose righteousness and used the power of ctrl z to revert the computer changes and divert mechanical back to the abyss and depths of the fab lab. In turn when facing oppression, the Programming team showed that it has the resilience and power to become and be the Best Sub Team.
A letter to the Gods of Programming
After these issues, one would believe that the struggles were over, but for many, their loyalty had been tested and as such many wrote letters to bring about hope for CONSTANT success and no more excessive updates for the firmware and api:
How shall I tune my personal PIDS?
To the Gods of the Programming Empire,
Troubled my thoughts have been, regarding the truly harsh and unjust reality that the fair and noble programmers are forced to endure. While it's true that programming is blessed with bountiful gifts of abundance and glory through the aux, there is also a needless opposition to the brilliant Programming Empire from deep within the hearts of the non-programmers. This vile and repulsive emotion from Mechanical is the cause of most--if not all-- of the disasters our beautiful sub-team has had to weather. I see a darkness that enshrouds and suffocates us with its thick fumes. We kick and scream but nothing could be more futile against such strong hate. I wish I knew how we could stand up to the error mechanical brings. If anyone could figure out how to escape the doom they bring it would be the geniuses who fixed the swerve, who implemented the limelight course autocorrection, and who created a casino. If anyone could do it, it would be the Programming team (under the guidance of the programming gods). And yet, we find ourselves stuck in an infinite loop, passing the wrong values and scrolling through endless error messages on the console. My personal suspicion is that we are far too outnumbered for our great skill to overcome. Maybe we should have recruited more rookies to help defend against the army that bangs on the gates of our dominion. Sometimes I wish some of the mechanical rookies had joined our empire instead, but then I look to the great programmers of the past. As the very wise would-be-programmer Winston Churchill said “I would rather argue against 100 idiots than have one agree with me”. We must leave them to suffer again this insolence. It was only yesterday when I remembered all the injustices Mechanical had done to our domain. The floors they have lazily littered, the righteous work they have impeded, the bleak suffering they have brought, and the apparent disregard of our Bill of Constants all cry with desperate pleas for the much overdue retribution and vengeance that corresponds to these unlawful sinners. As such, I hope that you, our gods, can one day fix this injustice and relive our empire's glory. Until then, we are left to baffle at the logic errors from inferior sub-teams and to continue fighting for the programmer’s dream which we are entitled to.
The Pledge of WPILIB:
To truly become the unified confederate state it was meant to be, following the battles against mechanical, the Programming Empire decided it was time to create a dream of an ideal nation where citizens followed a motto, this is that motto:
I pledge Allegiance to my data types and the Programming empire for which it stands, under Adam && Vince indivisible with oppression and superiority above all sub-teams.
We salute that Respect will be had towards all programmers.
Any attempt of uprising will be met with Mechanical’s stolen hammers.
Our code is forever glorious.
And Our Robots will always be victorious
All programmers will be favored by the great Adam && Vince.
Everyone will feel their wrath ever since
Errors and bugs won’t dare appear in our code.
Mechanical will deliver the robot on time or be humbled by our abode.
PIDs will be tuned with minimal effort and never cause trouble.
Injustices towards programmers shall begin to crumble.
Revenge for past wrongs shall be brought.
Every non-programmer shall be taught.
Sol non-occident Programmandi Impirium
What is Faith?
Upon the first venture of the programming team to the lands of Hatboro-Horsham of the 4th, the Programmers were forced to deal with the difficulties of mechanical. The amount of issues were almost as long as downtown between Matches and what crucified the programmers was the dreaded encoders which nearly casted doom on the team. But, in this time of need the once great Programming empire began to question the legitimacy of the hierarchy that lay before them. One such fellow, was Kevin Gao who asked the almighty Vince and Adam "what is faith?" The gods then responded saying faith is like python: blind and incorporeal. However when trying to enact their principles, Gao failed. Gao failed by anointing the likes of mechanical, he nearly destroyed the pledge of WPI LIB. This crime was so unforgiving that the Gods thought Kevin was like adobe flash:discontinued and obsolete. Yet despite this crime, Mid God Vince, and High God Adam found hope in the rest of the members to purify Gao. But that story lay in another day.
Beyond the Earth:
Following this, it was on the 7th hour of the 5th day, of the 3rd month, of the 23rd year, that the Grand Empire continued its decision to expand its reaches beyond the sentiment of the Earth. In this time, the Programming expire declared it was to be "Game Time" and so they sent emissaries to defeat the wretched crutches of teams like Moe, Nemesis, and Sab-Bot-Tage. Yet, in their struggle, the Programming Empire encountered a greater enemy. Suddenly, the Empire began to sense a foul smell. A robot across the room had burned all of their Motors and created a cloud of magic smoke. To add to our troubles